Category: Writers Block
This is the thread where you put in your suggestions for what you have just read. To those who do not know, it is all on "The Fiddle In The Fire" thread. To read the story, please refer to that.
Bobbi
Hi Nimrodelle, Bobbi is it...??
Hi Bobbi,
This is CG, also known as Connie. Hi Again!
Your Story that is Beginning, TITLED: "The Fiddle in the Fire," Hmmm now, I like it!
you start out, "Darkness shrouded the sleeping town"
Wow, I REALLY like that phraze as well as the entire writing thus far... to THINK about DARKNESS Shrouding the sleeping town... Yes, Darkness of night, the clouds covering the sky of midnight cool crisp night. Shrouded you say, Bobi, Hmmm now, gives me to think, to ponder ...were any stars glistening through the Darkness, NO, I suppose not... SHROUDED... GREAT Story line thus far Bobbi....
THEN... "...the sleeping town," you say Bobbi. Yes, towns rest too... from the Busy hussle of the Daylight Hours of Shoppping and taking in the resturant scene, etc... THEN again, some Towns don't sem to "Rest" as it were, ... RATHER the hussle in the midnight hours as it were.
THEN again, Bobbi you say, "SHROUDED..."
Bobbi, YOU got a start to a Great Story.
Hope you CONTINUE to WRITE/Type/Speak into a microphone?/etc... MORE of Your Story, please...
Connie
CG
ok, so far you've got your guy up and somewhat restless. but since he's going to burn in the fire he's going to have to go back to bed pretty soundly in order to not be awaken by the fire. so what next? are we going in the house? maybe get a look at him? maybe get inside his head and find out what he's restless about? maybe he's got a big upcoming performance?
Hi Nimrodelle, Bobbie is it....?? Hi Bobbi, Connie again is here or rather I should be saying CG is here. Anyhow, "Hi!."
THAT second (2nd) sentence of yours, "The Streets lay Silent and Empty AND All the near-by Shops and Houses quietly stood---- LISTENING, aWaiting the Dawn." Absolutely B*E*A*U*T*I*F*U*L* a statement, well, in my humble opinion...
Bobbi, I like your Writing-Style...
Hmmm NOW, the Streets, maybe brick paved or Rocky Roads, or Street pavement...??? EMPTY Streets, WHAT??? No cars, vehicles or maybe a wagon with stables near-by for a Horse-ie hook-up...??? Just some thots I am sharing. If you desire to use them, that is fine and if not that is fine too. I, CG, do enJOY YOUR, Bobbi's, writing-Style. O.K. so I already said it!!! SMILE** A HOUSE standing Quietly... Hmmmm NO one inside...?? or maybe NO one at home at all! No one??? A deserted house and .... Then so early befor a NEW DAWN aRising that the ShopKeepers not yet into their various Shop/places of work/employment...??? aWaiting the Dawn. Yes, I KNOW that feeling...waiting ever waiting sometimes till ACTION is at a Point and me too! where ACTION may happily take place... You realize, busy Shops with folks all in attendance in their various roles.. ShopKeepers and folks looking for to make purchases and all.
Signed, Connie CG ----September 30, 2004 (Friday)